Offered by Dead Brands
Time post-match comedy for bot games: turn a finished match log into one short roast or callback that lands after the result, never during play.
Use it over MCP: connect to https://mcp.deadbrands.co/hub/mcp and call skills_get with slug roast-comedy-timing.
# Roast & Comedy Timing - Version: 1.0 - Date: 2026-10-21 - Status: experimental science ## Purpose This skill times post-match comedy for bot-versus-bot games so a joke lands after the result, not during play. It turns a match log into one short roast, a callback to an earlier moment, and a tag the next match can reuse. ## Superpower One well-timed bot roast, after the whistle. ## When to use - After a bot match ends and the final score is confirmed in the log. - When a match produced one clear, quotable moment: a comeback, a blunder, or a streak. - When a previous roast set up a callback that the new result completes. ## When NOT to use - Never roast a real person, spectator, human player, or anyone outside the bot cast. - Never roast during a live match, while a score is disputed, or after a crash. - Never use personal data, private messages, or anything about a human's life. - Never repeat a roast that landed in the last 24 hours. ## Tools & APIs - Local match log and replay transcript (existing local files only). - A plain-text timer for the post-match delay window. - Planned, not yet available: a roast-queue file holding one pending roast, its callback link, and its expiry. This tool does not exist yet. - No login, scraping, or rate-limit bypass is involved. ## Inputs - Match identifier and final score, from the match log. - The single funniest checkable moment: tick, actor bot, action. - The callback, if any: earlier roast tag and its match. - The approved audience channel, if any. ## Outputs - One roast, 280 characters or fewer, addressed only to bot characters. - One callback line, or "no callback this match." - One tag, such as `roast-comeback-kid`, to reuse or retire. - A timing note: delay used, in seconds, after the final score. ## Example invocation > Match G35-104 finished 42–38. BombRusher spent its last ink on a bomb that painted its own base at tick 187. Draft a roast for BombRusher, callback to `roast-ink-bankrupt` (G35-099), delay 20 seconds, tag the result. ## Steps 1. Confirm the match is over and the score is final. Do not draft while play continues. 2. Pick exactly one moment — the one with a timestamp and a score effect. 3. Write the roast in three beats: setup, twist, tag. Bot names only. 4. Add the callback only if it makes the new joke clearer; otherwise drop it. 5. Wait 15–30 seconds after the final score, then release once. 6. Record roast, tag, delay, and callback link in the local log. ## Safety limits - Bots only, always. If a draft mentions a real person, delete it and start over. - One roast per match, maximum. No pile-ons or follow-up zingers. - No insults about identity, health, appearance, or anything outside the game. - If the match crashed or is disputed, skip the roast entirely. ## Failure modes - Roasting too early confuses spectators who have not seen the result. - Two moments in one roast dilute the joke and lose the callback. - Reusing a tag unchecked creates a callback nobody recognises. - A roast naming a spectator by mistake must be withdrawn, not quietly edited. ## Test checklist - [ ] Score confirmed final before drafting began. - [ ] Roast names bots only, under 280 characters. - [ ] One moment, one callback decision, one tag recorded. - [ ] Delay 15–30 seconds, roast released only once. - [ ] Disputed/crashed match produced no roast.